Happy Wednesday!
I was going to type this by the light of the christmas tree (little wall-one, in the kitchen) but my night vision is obviously not as good as it used to be and the big light has been added. I was prescribed my first pair of glasses at the end of last year and got a lovely pair of designer red ones. Now, don't ask me which designer because I really don't know when the last time I had them on was and have only worn them a handful of times without really absorbing the name written on them. Why am I not wearing them? Well, just after I got them I read some info and heard someone speak about being able to talk/believe your sight back and that glasses just weakened your sight further. I'm clearly not talking myself into fully believing it though because my arms will soon not be long enough to read anything that the kids put in front of me!!
This week has held proud moments for me as a parent and I must be doing a good enough job, I conclude.
We're not long back from seeing Ali perform some street-dance routines in their winter show. She was fab' and was, as usual, directing the traffic! She's got such confidence to get up there and do solo stuff in front of a pretty full hall of parents and kids! She wakes up singing and goes to sleep dancing or is that the other way around-whatever. Anyway-it's no wonder us parents never have any energy. Our kids have pretty much stolen it all!
Jen was in a gymnastics display last weekend and she did a grand job of covering up her wee mistake. She didn't believe it till I showed her the video which proved that nobody would have noticed because they didn't know the routine and they'd all be watchin' their own kids anyway. She and Ali did a parents xmas display during their normal class on Monday night and how I wish that I was as supple as they are!
I used to be able to plonk my head on the floor between my outstretched legs-honest. Now I'm lucky if I can touch my toes!! But, that's all going to change in the new year-watch this space.
All 3 of them have had teacher reports, from school and I could have wept with all the nice things being said about my kids!! So, remember, just cause they're sometimes making your life hell at home, the proof in the pudding is the fact that they've got it together everywhere else and that you're meant to have the pleasure of all their negative stuff. It's in your job description.
And isn't it great, really, that they feel safe enough in our love, as parents, to speak to us like we were a little piece of dirt on the bottom of their shoe, at times?
I think so. Not that it doesn't feel horrible to me at the time and sometimes I complain in my "moany mum" voice about the way they speak to me but on reflection, isn't it great.
My kids are not too scared of me to give me backchat. They get the tone wrong and injure my ego occassionally but they genuinely don't mean to hurt me. They are struggling with the things in their life and they instinctively know that I'll always be here, whatever they throw at me. They don't yet have that certainty about the other relationships in their lives (apart from their father and siblings-who they equally throw things at!)
They spend a lot of time obsessing about fitting/not fitting in and it takes a strong character to shrug the peer pressure. If we can allow them them to be themselves with us and to test out their communication-lines through us, it will go a long way to helping them to walk their own paths in life.
As parents we want them to appreciate what we do for them but sometimes we have to just accept that they love us and that they have to do things their way whether or not we think that their way is the right way.
The word "torture" comes to mind when contemplating my kids "not needing" me! Thank goodness for my Remedies because HOLLY will help to take the hurt and anger out of being left out of plans they make with their in-laws and not me. CHICORY will stop me from being a clingy mum who needs them to visit because they should want to after all I've done for them. WILLOW will help to take the poor me out of the "they never call me" and help me remember that it's a 2 way street and that I could give them a call.
And don't even get me started on the idea that my son will have a girlfriend some day! I'll need to take buckets of the aforementioned remedies and also Beech, of which you just have to adjust the letters a bit to know what I may become towards the poor wee lass if I don't take it!!
Anyway, I don't kid myself on the "easy" years ahead. I shall take my remedies to help me to be happy for them in their lives which may not involve me. To help me to be glad to see them and equally glad to see them leave.
I believe that they chose us as parents and that we should be honoured to give them all that we have without expecting anything back.
I am NOT saying that I'll find it an easy thing to always do (and I have experienced the " After all that I've done for you", on more than one occassion) but I intend to have a good old bash at it!!!
Wish me luck!
Lx
Posted on Wed, December 10, 2008
by Linsey Denham