At last-but not really worth reading.....

At last-but not really worth reading.....

Happy 2nd Wednesday in August :-)
I am not even going to work out how long it has been since I last wrote anything here as I am scared to see how quickly the weeks have flown by.
Worse, still (but great, for obvious other reasons) the 14 months that Andrew wasn't here went by in the blink of an eye. My hubbie pointed out that it's less than 11 months till our next holiday-eek.
It does seem to me that I rant an awful lot about time passing by too quickly and yet I still find that I am not doing all the things that I so keenly want to do.
Examples?
My book: is trapped in a memory stick (because we had to download it from my laptop, which we abandoned on holiday. Bill smacked its screen with an object that didn't end up with similar spider-like cracks on it, after impact) I now need a new laptop or may just borrow Andrews until he disappears back to Toronto next Spring.
My screenplay: has all the important stuff underlined in the book. Scenes are chosen and the first one has some form. It's all in my head, exactly as I see it and yet I struggle with putting it into physical reality.
I think that I am still waiting on my sleep requirements changing. I was promised that, as I got older, I would require less sleep which would give me several extra hours to spend writing. I continue getting older but I am no longer convinced that I will ever become a morning-person-boo hoo :-(
Oh, I am so jealous of people who bounce out of bed, ready to fully embrace their day. Me, I sit like a zombie, with my cup of coffee and my eyes shut, praying for the minutes to go slowly and it's not the first time that the hot coffee has jolted me into wakefulness as it seeps through my no-longer-white dressing gown because I've nodded off again.

Okay-for those of you paying attention to the date, you’ll know that this is actually the 3rd Wednesday in August. The blurb above was written last week and never posted because I was overcome by a sudden sense of blah and of feeling lost.
Have you ever had that? It was like all the sunshine was sucked out of me (has anyone seen any Dementors around?-Harry Potter for any “muggles” who may not be in the know) I kept trying to rationalise it away but it felt really deep-rooted and somewhat necessary. It is still a little bit there, in the sense that I am aware of there being a part of me that is in crisis. I just can’t work out which part.
There’s a Bach Meeting on Monday and I will put myself (yet again) up for case study. I know that they are all going to jump in with “Mustard” which is for the exact feeling that I’ve described but intuitively I decided against taking it. Was that because I felt that there was something to be learned from feeling that way-who knows.

My baby turned 13 yesterday and she has grown up, all of a sudden. As I watched the tiny little primary 1 kids going to school this morning for their first taste of school, I found it incredulous that 14 years have passed since we took Andrew for his first day at Duddingston. Oops, I’m onto the whole time-thing again. Maybe it’s Honeysuckle that I’m needing? Although I’m not sure that I am having regrets, I certainly seem a bit preoccupied with the passage of time.

I should be able to write a whole bunch of things but all I can think about is all the things that I have to get done this evening-Impatiens?
Flippin’ heck, isn’t it funny how you can’t see the wood for the trees sometimes? Everything I write, I think I need the remedy for dealing with it. Even us Bach Practitioners, who are great at helping others to choose remedies, need someone to help us, sometimes. Roll on Monday

Despite my apparent mental-disorganisation I have got lots of stuff coming up this Autumn-mainly to do with Bach teaching. I have several courses organised to teach and I have one for myself to go off on. The latter is the training to teach Level 2 Bach and I am very excited and ready for the challenge as it is my hope that I shall be able to transfer to Canada with all my Bach teaching/consulting, when the time is right.

Of course, the book and screenplay will be ongoing, especially if I begin to waken at 6.30 instead of 7.15 on a school day.

This is a really short, really empty blog but my head is swimming and I can’t concentrate-eek, White Chestnut/Scleranthus....................

Next week will be better. My fellow “Bachers” (or is that “Bachees” ???) will sort me out, if I haven’t managed to do so myself.

Much love to all-oh, I got my ears pierced again, yesterday. Maybe that’s what’s wrong-too close to my brain?

Lxxxx

 
 
 

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