Day 19 and still drinking wine :-)

Day 19 and still drinking wine :-)

Okay, so nobody told me that I would give up drinking wine as soon as I began meditating but the book did make it sound a wee bit like that. Am I disappointed-no. That would defeat the purpose of doing meditation twice a day, wouldn't it. Curious is one of my favourite words and it takes the sting out of lots of other adjectives such as scared, suspicious, disappointed etc by making you just that.....curious or interested, if you prefer that word.

I am curious as to why I do what I choose to do. I am curious as to how things will end up. I am curious about all the possibilities out there which I don't know about.

It's a really nice feeling to be curious-you should try it.

I have my wonderful friend, Lorraine Murray (author, teacher and therapist) to thank for introducing me to the concept of curious. She uses the word a lot in her teaching and also when she's leading meditation. She uses it to distract you from judgement of what you're doing/experiencing, to help you to just let it all unfold. I have pinched the word for my own teachings and meditations and embrace it fully in my daily life. Thanks Lorraine.

For those of you who are perhaps following me to see whether or not I actually manage to achieve moderation in my wine-drinking, you may be wondering why my remedies haven't magically "cured" me. I am curious about that one too but have no doubt that my Bach Flower remedies are helping me to peel away the layers of self-judgement and fear that surround my love of wine. Acceptance of myself, including my wine drinking, is much more important to me than the actual giving-up/cutting down of it and so my remedies are doing that for me, first and foremost, very successfully :-)

When you look around at some of the rock stars that have been around forever and think about the amount of alcohol and drugs they have consumed, it beggars belief that they can still be so fit and healthy. My theory about them is that they have never judged themselves for it and have never been fearful of any negative effects that it may have on them. And I think that it follows that, if I am completely happy with myself, drinking the odd bottle of wine because I love it, will do me no harm whatsoever.

And so it is back to Dr Bach keeping the remedies simple. Treat not the symptoms (wine drinking) but the personality. If you drink wine because you are angry or resentful or fearful or bored or depressed then it is those emotions that I would give you remedies for as well as Chestnut Bud which will help you to learn from your repeated mistakes (if you class your drinking wine as a repeated mistake)

I have taken lots of Chestnut Bud, over the last few months (although not this last month or so) and it has made differences in lots of areas of my life where I found myself in the same place yet again. My next mix (to be made up today) is going to have it in it again, to see what layer it peels away this time. I am also going to include Pine, which is for guilt because I have been revisiting things that I thought I had dealt with a very long time ago but which are obviously still lurking under the surface.

Guilt about not being in Scotland to notice my father get sick before it was too late to save him. Guilt that I didn't tell him he was dying and for choosing for him not to have radiotherapy. Guilt about my not being there to save the beautiful little girl I looked after in Toronto, who died whilst I was still over here, after my dad died.

So much guilt that is both irrational and unfair to myself but it has surfaced again so I will put Pine back into my bottle to let it go.

And on that note, I have to go. There's a big teen party in my home tonight and I have to bomb-proof everything !

Nah, just kidding.......about the bomb-proofing. I have ordered that it will be wonderful for them and it will. My carpets need cleaned anyway and there's not a lot that they can break :-)

Have a beautiful rest of your day,

Lxxx 

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