Happy Thursday everyone.
What have I found out, with all the Agrimony consumption I've been doing?
I have found that I feel much happier than I did before I began taking it. It's a genuine, inside my chest, kind of happiness and I have discovered that it's okay to let people see me having negative emotions. They still seem to like me and my loved ones still love me. allowing myself to be angry, when I was feeling angry and impatient, when I was feeling impatient was definately different for me but it was okay. Nothing came crashing down on my world because I was honest and open with my negative emotions. The big bonus of allowing myself these emotions has been the wonderful flip-side of it. I giggle more and smile more and I feel much lighter than I previously did (and it's not because I've lost weight 'cause I seem to be static on that front.)
Agrimony has enabled me to put myself out to be looked at, judged, wondered about, ignored, disliked.........whatever. And I feel more comfortable about that than I ever have in my life. I haven't lost any friends yet and don't actually believe that I will lose any because my friends are pretty much on my wavelength anyway. They will probably have noticed a shift but I am hoping that they will feel empowered to find their own voices and follow me in accepting themselves as a whole. Hoping that they will discover for themselves that we all have a dark side full of negative emotions that are as important as out light side. Most of us have spent our lives trying to hide our darkness from others, if not from ourselves. We have been scared to show our anger or spite or jealousy because we felt that it would make us unacceptable to those around us.
On a personal note. I used to destroy a relationship once my dark side had been seen because I was unaccepting of it myself and thought that there was no going back once you had been nasty to someone. I didn't know how to forgive myself and so assumed that I would not be forgiven by others.
We are, however, our own most hard critic and we really have no idea what other people are thinking about our actions. We may think that we do and that can lead to a whole other bundle of negative feelings.
Using Agrimony has helped me to reach the place where I no longer am concerned by the thoughts about me, by another person. Those thought belong to that person and as long as I live my life in a way that feels right for me, living from my heart centre, I know that my world will be a happy place.
If I disturb anothers happiness whilst living my happy life, it will be a problem within them that they will have to solve.
Blaming anyone or anything for my unhappiness is a thing of the past. I can now see that all my feelings are mine and I take responsibility for them. I am no saint and never will be and I will have moments where I will put the blame out there but it will be brief and I will recognise it and I will then take it back, accept it and move on.
And on that note, I must close as I need to get changed for my Belly Dancing-eek.
I don't even have the comfort of having LJ being with me tonight. She's off to tap her feet to "I got Chills" whilst watching Grease.
Last week was interesting and I know that I will improve each week and hope that I will relax enough to connect my arms with my footwork and my shimmying.
shimmy shimmy shimmy and off I go............
Much love to you all for this coming week,Lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted on Thu, May 19, 2011
by Linsey Denham