grouchy and tired. Linked to wine after massage?

grouchy and tired. Linked to wine after massage?

Happy Sunday everyone.

On Friday, I felt grouchy (love that word) and tired and out of sorts. It may have been linked to Andrew going home on Tuesday but it was more likely due to the (almost) bottle of wine I drank on Thursday evening. Drinking a bottle of wine is not unusual for me and those of you who know me personally or through my blogs will know that decreasing my wine-consumption is an ongoing challenge of mine.

My current strategy involves daily meditation (through Oprah and Deepaks 21 day challenge) and drinking from a small glass, rather than my normal large ones. My aim, as always, is to accept wine-drinking as part of my life and to give it no energy, through conscious thought, whatsoever. I am ever-edging my way towards that goal. The (smaller) glass that I am using is the last-remaining crystal one that my dads initials are engraved on. That, in itself is no coincidence. My dad struggled with his alcohol intake for many years although in his case, it was whiskey.

Going back to my grouchiness on Friday, the problem wasn't having the wine but was probably the having it after receiving a wonderfully healing massage. Now, I full well know that massage can release all sorts of stuff and yet I disregarded the 'no alcohol afterwards' advice without a second thought. Why?

Something inside me is still very defiant towards rules, especially if they involve my perceived control of myself by something or someone. My head quickly goes into a 'don't tell me what to do' mode and I do the opposite. Not all the time, granted and less and less with each passing year, admittedly. This is my forward progress and I am curious about where I will find myself when I give up the need for control completely.

I love my life.

For the most part, I am now genuinely that person that people get to see and not a projection of who I think I should be. Bach flower remedies, meditation and Reiki have all helped me to get here. I am also grateful for the great love that is my husband and our 3 beautiful children. They teach me more than I could ever teach them and accept me completely, inside and out. Thanks guys.

As for the battle with wine? Watch this space....................again !

Sending much love out to you all on this rainy (what's new) Sunday in Edinburgh. Lxx


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