I am the only person who needs to hear me

I am the only person who needs to hear me

Happy beautiful sunny Monday except that it's now Wednesday :-) It seems that (yet again) I have found myself posting a blog that's a couple of days old...........Mmmm.
Aberdeen hit it's warmest day in March EVER, on Sunday and Edinburgh didn't feel far behind.

My Magnolia tree is on full bloom a whole month early and my daffodils were in bloom in Feb. Bonkers.
Perhaps we are going to end up with our Summer in Winter and vice versa 'cause I am pretty sure that we won't be blessed with the sunshine lasting from now to September...... or is that defeatist ?

It's Day 52 of my meditation programme and I am repeating week 5. Again, the main reason for doing so is that I haven't read the blurb for week 6, which is the final week of my book.
But, it won't be the final week of me meditating. I am going to commit to continue doing daily meditations and perhaps I will even manage to keep on with the twice daily that I am now used to.

WHY, you ask? Have my results been THAT good ?

Well, not if you saw me squirm my way through last evenings 15 minutes of meditation, they're not. I’m not sure what was going on but I definitely was not happy to be sitting quietly with my thoughts. Perhaps you thought that I’d be an expert by now......I did But it’s simply not what’s happened although I have progressed to doing 20-30 mins both morning and evening and usually fairly easily. But I am still apt to find my mind a wandering and having to remind myself to BREATHE.

That said, if you compared my level of normal everyday calmness to that of 7 weeks ago, there is a definite increase in that. There is also an increase in my ability to pay attention to what’s going on NOW. That includes paying better attention to what other people are saying rather than planning my 'good/helpful/thoughtful' response, whilst they are talking. Did I actually think that planning a response, without really listening to what was being said, was ever going to be as helpful/good or thoughtful as fully paying attention to the person talking?
Often, with my kids, I have nodded and 'uh hu'd' my way through their stories. On Sunday morning, on Alisons paper-round, I really paid attention to her and I was soooo aware of making the effort not to skip to a reply or drift off to planning my day. It was great. She’s always been brilliant at making sure that I hear what she needs me to. Even as a really little person she would see that I wasn’t paying attention and ask me what she had just said.........errr, Mmmm???

And I have realised that I don't always need to be heard, by way of giving an in depth reply to someones story. Sometimes it's ok to just listen and hear. Perhaps my need to be heard by others has diminished these past 7 weeks and maybe I am seeing that the only person that truly needs to hear from me is me.

And on that note let’s post this to save my getting distracted and finding that it’s Friday.

Much love to all,

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