Happy Wednesday!
Have to admit to feeling very Spring-like due to the sunshine outside today. It's very misleading, though, 'cause the sunshine outside does not always mean that you should put on your shorts and go into the garden! In Florida, perhaps but I have learned yet again that you don't do so in Edinburgh. The temperature was quite mild, last week and I awoke to another beautiful blue sky and decided that a walk would be the very thing to do! t-shirt and joggers on and I found that as I turned into the Figgate Park there was a rather cold wind blowing. I strided on despite being conscious that all the other people in the park seemed to have variations of winter clothes on, including hats and gloves in some instances! They must have thought that I was bonkers but what's important is how you view yourself isn't it!?
Well, I thought that I was bonkers as well!!
It reminded me of my first holiday in Canada to visit my penpal, Lynn. We began writing at the age of 13 and we still are penpals (as well as best friends, despite the distance!) although technology now means that we now speak via msn for the most part.
I went to visit Lynn over Christmas and New Year just before I began my Sick kids training and just after I called of my wedding. (I felt the need to escape and how strange to think how easily my Bank Manager handed me over the money I needed to get there on the very day that I asked him for it! I cried, he knew my dad as a good customer and he believed me when I told him that I would be good for the money when I got back as I would be working! How simple things were then!!)
Anyway, Lynn had warned me that it got a tad chilly in Saskatoon-around -20 degrees!! I thought that I was prepared as I'd bought a sheepskin jacket and lots of thick sox but as my plane descended into Saskatoon the pilot announced that it was -42 EEK!!!!!!! I remember being very unprepared for the freezing cold air which flooded into my lungs as we entered the airport carpark. I just about expired-literally!!! I could count on my fingers how many times I was able to venture outside for any length of time during that 6 weeks due to the cold snap they had whilst I was there. BUT...I do remember looking at the blue sky one day and thinking I'd walk to the local store for a stamp....without my ear muffs! It's my strongest ever recollection of having misjudged the weather (the second being as a silly teenager on a ski-ing holiday in France who went up the slopes in a polo neck and no gloves to look good........tears could only follow that misjudgement as the instructor called me names in Fench and slapped my hands to warm them whilst causing me great pain!)
There's a great Bach Flower Remedy for people who do not learn from their mistakes called Chestnut Bud-perhaps it's one that I need a little bit of now and then, eh??
Oh and the upshot of no ear muffs in Saskatoon in Jan 1984 was me having to walk along the road with my hands glued to my ears trying to keep the wind chill off them and learning that the cars are plugged in there for a reason!!
People can be a bit like weather and we can often jump to a conclusion about someone from what we see on the outside. I've done it in the past but hopefully don't do it any longer. Just because someone seems to have the sunniest personality we know does not make them the happiest person on the inside. These happy smiley faces are often the most tortured souls because they don't know how to let anyone see how they are really feeling. Take it from someone who's been there and worn the t-shirt. It can be a lonely painful place being the "clown" because you are convinced that if people knew the real you, then the game would be over and nobody would accept you. The shame of it is that it doesn't matter a jot whether other people like you-you have to like yourself. Accepting who you are and progressing to liking and then loving yourself is a good plan. I'm on to the liking bit and progressing to the love, these days and whilst I may not be the happy smiley clown any more, I still have my friends for the most part. I find that as I accept myself more and more I need less and less approval from others and my social life has become quieter because I choose to be at home more. I still love my chats with my good friends but don't crave any excitement outwith my home. I know that some will think me boring but I'm now contented to be seen as such and that is such a good place to be.
If you're the class clown on the outside but feel decidedly different on the inside then the Bach Flower Remedy Agrimony can help you to be less bothered about the impression you're making and allow you to share better how you're feeling.
Bill and I went to see Simply Red last night and Mick was fantastic as usual. The fact that he sounded exactly as he does when you listen to his albums (-better, even) is the true testament of a great artist. That's the second time I've seen the group and although I felt that Mick might not be feeling at his best, his voice did not give that impression at all-what a voice! Bill worries about my feelings sometimes!
Well, folks-lots to do and last minute me again! That Chestnut Bud really does have my name on it doesn't it??????
Take care of yourselves and each other and have a wonderful week,
Lx
Posted on Wed, March 25, 2009
by Linsey Denham