Let your children laugh at you!

Let your children laugh at you!

This first week of the new year has gone by in a bit of a blur! Between the weather being the coldest that I can remember (except in Canada) and my spending many hours tapping away at my laptop, writing my "book", my christmas tree is still up and my christmas cards remain unsent.

I had this notion about New years cards that hasn't materialised into the physical reality but is still a possibility, for those of you who normally get a token of my thoughts at christmas. How bizarre not to have sent our news out far and wide.

Some days I think that my lack of "doing" is because I'm evolving and other days I wonder if I'm not a bit sad and depressed? I've avoided contact with friends and family as I don't feel communicative (perhaps I'm overusing my communication files with all the typing?) and I've been drinking rather a lot of yummy wine! Okay, I know it's been the holidays but I know that I have a tendency to build up my alcohol tolerance rather quickly!

Saving grace? I'm running a Bach course over the next 2 sundays and they always bring things into better perspective for me. They remeind me that I am the captain of my own ship and that I'm the only one who will get me to where I want to go!

And where is that, you ask?

Well, I made myself a promise that I would get this book written and published by this summer-yep, a huge promise but I'm the only one who knows what it will mean to me to get it done. To put a tight restriction on time will make me work at it and the 24,000 words already written are stored safely in this little laptop. (perhaps I should back that up, somehow, eh?)

I need to investigate all sorts of everything to do with getting a book published and will begin that as soon as this Bach course is done or simultaneously depending on how motivated I find myself.

If any of you have connections or ideas-please help!!

Whilst writing my book has been incredibly therapeutic (I have shed many tears and looked at many warts) I realise that there may just be some helpworthy material for others contained in its words. It seems like generation after generation of women dread the fact that they may turn into their mothers like I did.

The thing is, now that she's gone and I'm writing down all that I can about her and I (and my daughters) I find myself thinking that I'd be very lucky to be like large parts of my mother and wish that she was physically around for me to tell that to!

But she's not!

This is short and sweet this week, but my message is that if your mum is still around, have a wee think about all of her strengths (and she will have some-believe me) and apply them to yourself. Those are the parts to focus on whilst your mum is still here for you. Don't do as I did for most of my adult life which was concentrating on my mums weaknesses and hoping that I'd be different.

Our mothers do (and did) the best that they knew how to do with the knowledge they had. If, like mine, your mother doesn't know how to say "I love you" then try to find it in yourself to tell her that you love her. Motherhood is a wonderful but exceedingly hard job-one that we sometimes forget to enjoy because it seems too huge at times. Our children will be okay and hopefully better than okay.

We should try to let them know who we are as people, so that they know where we are coming from when we think we have the right to tell them what is best for them. Let them know your starting point and the road that you have taken to get where you are now.

From experience, I know that my kids love to be told about all the mistakes I've made in my life. The wrong relationships, the wrong decisions, the wrong hairdo!

Open yourself up for them to see. It might just do you good to remember who you are inside because you are not just someones mother!

Ta Ta for now and have a great week,

lxx

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