I've had a couple of discussions with people, this week about how quickly time passes and how we lose track of how long it's been since we last saw someone. I reckon that the whole of 2009 went by without my seeing the friend I had coffee with this morning! I did see her at my Jewellery-party, in January, this year but there were "markers" which made it seem like we didn't see each other for a whole year, prior to that. The other conversation was even scarier because it had been 11 years since I had seen the person being discussed. Again, there were certain "markers" which enabled me to know that definitively. Without those markers I would have guessed around 6 or 7 years!
You probably are able to date a song by linking it in time to what was happening in your life at the time it was a hit. I suspect that people who pay attention to their lives have more success with this. If we live our lives in a dream or in a rush or feeling overwhelmed, we might be unable to connect the dots when we look backwards. It's not that the memories won't be there, it's just that we won't know how to access them because we haven't put any effort into linking them to relevent markers, which were around at the time.
In this new life of mine, where I'm trying to pay attention to each minute and to just let things happen, I wonder whether my memory of this present will be clearer, when I look back on it. Admittedly, I have lots of markers for things in the past. Things that happened at certain ages or in certain countries or jobs. However, I also have huge amounts of time where I have little recollection of what I did. Perhaps it was the alcohol consumption at the time or perhaps I was bored and not interested in remembering? Who knows, eh? And actually, it's not important to know, except from a curiosity point of view on my part. I can't change anything I've done because they are done. I have done lots of things that I used to say "I'm not proud of that" but ultimately, to have the life I am now living, I had to do all the things that I have done to get me here to this moment in time!
The "bad" things that I did were a means to reaching this stage of my life, with my knowledge of what made me do those things etched in my mind. I used to live as bizarre a storyline as someone in one of the t.v soaps-truthfully! So when the actors are doing their thing, it doesn't seem unlikely to me, as I watch them, that people are actually living these kind of lives.
I believe that we do most of our growing through what I used to call "mistakes". I now try to rename these mistakes, "lessons" because we make choices for the right reason at the time we make them. If the choice we make, later seems like a mistake then what is it trying to teach us?
When we go through difficult times, it is not easy to remember that things are how they are meant to be. How can they be? Faith and trust have a huge part to play for those of us who choose to think that everything is as it should be and is perfect as it is! The imperfect is perfect and if we can allow ourselves to accept this fact then life becomes easier. We stop beating ourselves up for our lives being the way they are. We stop comparing what we have to others. We allow ourselves to be as we are, in that present moment. We stop blaming others or circumstances and accept that we choose to feel how we feel or don't feel.
It does all seem a bit far fetched, doesn't it? But I ask you to ponder on it for a while and think about things that affect your happiness. Think about their importance and how you'd feel with or without them.
Then imagine that you can be still happy despite the world around you changing constantly and acknowledge how you feel about that?
Just some food for though for this coming week and remember, these are just my thoughts. They are written from a place of exploration and curiousity and not from a place of knowledge. They are just my ideas, rattling around, which you can choose to contemplate or dismiss as there is no right or wrong choice in doing either.
Sending many positive thoughts out with this entry and wishing you all a wonderful week,
Lxxx
Posted on Wed, March 17, 2010
by Linsey Denham