Right-that's the ready brek downed and the tea is beside me and I've got to get this written now before my day really begins!
Christmas eve! Does that come with a "yippee" or a groan? Or both!
Certainly, I know that I have got 10,000 things to do and only 5 of us to do it all. If you take into account that Andrew's bogged off to play tennis, Ali's just disappeared on her skates, Jen's just woken up and Bill's still asleep.........Mmm, that leaves Moi!!
Am I feeling sorry for myself? Naa-there are so many things lying around the house that I'd know if I was feeling the slightest bit resentful! I'd be stomp, stomp, stomping and I'm not!
This past week has flown by faster than Santa Claus' sleigh will tonight and today is meant to be "special" according to Jen! I agree and hope that I will abandon ship, this afternoon and go do something as a family! Cleaning the house with them just doesn't seem the right kind of "special"!!
As parents, we want to give our kids the best Christmas we can and we go to great lengths to make sure that they get the things on their lists. It doesn't matter though how much we give, it will never stop them from being themselves! The "sibling-games" will continue whether we give them nothing or everthing. An only child will still "nip your heid" no matter how many presents you give her!
Let's face it-we shouldn't expect anything less from them. They will try to be good because they have been told that they should be but we shouldn't make them feel guilty when they don't manage. They're actually pretty good at beating themselves up for things they do or do not do! My 3 have been known to inflict much more severe punishment on themselves than we ever would!
I'm not saying that we should let our kids away with murder because I believe that they definately do need boundaries from us, to be able to function in the world. What I've been learning recently is that I can't expect them to do it my way all the time. (Did I just say that!!??) They are little souls who we have been given to nurture, as best we can, until they can do things for themselves. Once they are able, we need to step back and trust that they will make mistakes for lots of reasons and that they need to make them! We need to take our emotions out of the mix and realise that if people judge us because of the behaviour of our children, then that's tuff.
We need to let them know that we will be there for them but that we are not there at their beck and call because we are entitled to our lives also. We can choose to not be available when they'd like a taxi to their friends house. We can choose to make them prepare their own packed lunch. We can choose to do our exercise class when they'd like us to stay at home and play games.
We can't forget that we too exist. Often we forget, as parents, who we are and what we want. We need to remember to make some time for ourselves, so that when we get the (almost) inevitable "empty nest", we know what to do with it!
Again-is that greeted with a "yippee" or a groan? Or both?
Anyway-this was supposed to be a Merry Christmas jolly, jolly blog and it didn't evolve that way, did it?
The old me would erase it all and start again!!
The new me will just wish you a very Happy Peaceful time over Christmas and post this!
(Cause I'm 20 mins late to wake Bill!)
Lx
Posted on Wed, December 24, 2008
by Linsey Denham