still meditating-repeating week 4-progress.

still meditating-repeating week 4-progress.

Happy Wednesday.

Have I been busy? Mmmmmm? Not any more than usual and so I have not got that excuse for not blogging.

I really did get much more done when I was getting up routinely at 06.30 for the first wee whiley on this programme. Why did I stop? I love my bed........still. All the promises made to me by older people, when I was younger, about the fact that you won't sleep so much when you're older.................How much older do I have to be? Perhaps I shouldn't grumble because from all accounts, it sucks when you can't stay asleep. I have not experienced it much but I do have recollections of tending lovingly to my houseplants in Toronto at 3am. I think that in those days it was because my shifts interfered with my sleep pattern. In Toronto, I did 2 weeks days and 2 weeks nights and my head never really got used to it. When I did a week of nights on and a week of nights off, when I first qualified as a staff nurse in 1983 (eek) it was different because I never had to work days. Switching between day shift and night shift is a killer. I bet if they did research, there would be many more mistakes done on the first Monday back on a day shift after 2 weeks nights. (Pattern was Mon, Tues on, Wed, Thurs off, Fri, Sat, Sun on, Mon, Tues off, Wed, Thurs on, Fri, Sat, Sun off-change from days to nights or vice versa-ugh!)

Not sure why I felt I needed to share that :-)

Meditation programme: Still keen and positive with this and am doing 20 mins x 2 daily. Adding to that 2 x inspirational readings (usually more) watching my thoughts and my actions (ie mindfulness) and visualisations x2 and it's all good.

This week I am repeating week 4 for the same reasons as I repeated week 2. I don't want to be stressed trying to force myself to 'keep up' with the programme and I know that I will benefit from repeating this week.

My stumbling block seems to be fitting in the visualisations. 1, I can usually manage but the evening one seems to continually be forgotten. Not sure what that means although my gut tells me that it's a refection on my difficulty in picturing everything wonderful for myself. I am getting better but it's a work in progress.

Wine drinking? Well, I seem to have stopped having any when Bill is at work which has basically almost halved the amount that I am drinking-yippee. I even astounded myself by not having any last night, when he was off. Usually, I would have got myself a glass to mask my tiredness and stay up longer with him but I decided that there was 'nout' to watch on the tv/video and I was too tired to watch a movie, so I went to bed at 10pm-stone cold sober.

Did I feel wonderfully refreshed this morning-nope.

Strange that but I am trying to put aside all expectations and just accept it as it is. Today I feel a bit sluggish and it's perhaps a reflection on the pizza I had at 8.30pm?

Am I also going to change my eating habits through this mindfulness of mine? Who knows, certainly not me but the fact that I have stocked up on salad and had 2 apples in the past week (haven't had an apple for months) is perhaps an indication of the way my thoughts are progressing.

And they are not forced thoughts. Buying the lettuce and rocket, peppers and mushrooms was something that I wanted to do at the weekend. So I did.

This morning I nipped up to Starbucks for my free latte and treated myself to a lemon poppyseed muffin which a friend informed me was the reson for the free coffees.....to encourage the muffin buyers :-) Perhaps he's right. Perhaps I felt guilty at getting something free but I was only aware of getting the muffin and coffee for less than the cost of the muffin. I usually don't treat myself because of that cost and so it was luverly.

What else?

Nothing more for today, me thinks. I love to type away but this past 15 months or so seems to have been all about reading rather than typing. Doing, after the reading and all about me. I was wondering whether the remedy Heather would be a good one for me to take just now. It's the remedy for when everything is about yourself. I am not fitting the 'criteria' exactly but it is a thought as it would help me to look outside of my own little world and also to perhaps be a better listener (which is always good for my clients)

Mmmmm.....I will ponder it some more and let you know,

Have a good one,

Lxxx

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