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Happy Monday, (I am late in posting yet again :-)
I just drew an Angel card with respect to my lack of book-writing and it said 'Steady Progress'
Telling me to focus on all the things that I am achieving rather than looking at all the things that I am not doing.
Fantastic, because I am actually up to loads of stuff that is putting love into the world and the book will come together when it is meant to.
One of my Meditation students had told me that she wanted to take my voice home with her and so I told her that my homework would be to record a short meditation CD for her. And I did. I did it all by myself and 6 of the 7 students yesterday morning gave me £2 each for a copy. I used it for the first 15 mins of class and the feedback from the listeners was great. Not so long ago, the idea of recording my voice and letting people listen to it, never mind take a copy of it home, would have seemed incredulous. But, through patience and courage and an unlimited source of encouragement through my family and friends (especially Lorraine at Feel Good Therapies) my confidence in trusting that my voice is a gift to be used, has grown.
I am going into the local High School this afternoon to chat about doing some group meditation with the teens and I have been working with a mum and daughter for the past 3 weeks, which is helping both of them to be a bit calmer. All great stuff because I have finally been able to swallow that lump in my throat.
The thing is, people always think that I am full of confidence, when they meet me. It must be the way that my energy really is but for many years, I have not felt confident enough to truly speak out because I was scared of ridicule, judgement and rejection.
I have worn a false smiley face for a lot of my life and through the continued (although not constant) use of the Remedy Agrimony, I feel less worried about those things. The only person, after all, who I need to be true to is ME and if that means other people being unhappy with me or my moves, then so be it.
Constant, at the moment, is my use of Larch for my self-confidence and esteem and it's bolstering up both of those, wonderfully :-)
It is and always has been interesting that when I have to speak out for something else other than myself, I do it pretty well. Pink Night (my annual Breast cancer fundraiser) earned £365 on Sat night. My friends never think of me as lacking confidence when I stand in front of them trying to get them to buy each others stuff :-) So, we can feel very comfortable doing things in one area of our lives but equally as uncomfortable to do it in another area. And thus it was with my voice but it's much less so now.
Perhaps you might want to look at ways in which you differ emotionally in various aspects of your life.
Perhaps you are a dynamic business woman who can't say no to her children ?
Perhaps you are a bit of a neat freak at home, with the house but your office desk is overflowing ?
Perhaps you are scared to speak in public but are constantly being told that you 'never shut up' in your personal life ?
The Bach remedies can help to balance out the 'too much' and the 'too little' to make you feel like you are on more of an even keel.
Honest :-)
Much love to all,
Lxx